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Partial List off Successful and Popular Plays. Large CataloRue Free. 



DRAMAS, COMEDIES, 
ENTERTAINMENTS, Etc. 

M. F. 

Aaron Boggs, Freshman, 3 

acts, 2% hrs (35c) 8 8 

Abbu San of Old Japan, 2 acts, 

2 hrs (35c) 15 

All a Mistake, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(35c) 4 4 

All on Account of Polly, 3 acts, 

2% hrs (35c) 6 10 

And Home Came Ted, 3 acts, 

2% hrs (50c) 6 6 

Arizona Cowboy, 4 acts, 2^ 

hrs (35c) 7 5 

Assisted by Sadie, 4 acts, 2J/^ 

hrs (50c) 6 6 

As a Woman Thinketh, 3 acts, 

2^ hrs (35c) 9 7 

At the End of the Rainbow, 3 

acts, 2J4 hrs (35c) 6 14 

Bettv's Last Bet, 3 acts, 2^ 

hrs (50c) 5 6 

Black Heifer, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 9 3 

Boy Scout Hero, 2 acts, 1J4 hrs. 

(25c) 17 

Boy Scouts' Good Turn, 3 acts, 

Hi hrs (25c) 16 2 

Busy Liar, 3 acts, 254 h. (25c) 7 4 
Cabin Courtship, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(35c) 5 4 

Call of Wohelo, -3 acts, 154 

hrs ,.(25c) 10 

Civil Servige, 3 acts, 2% hrs. 

(35c) 6 5 

Clubbing a Husband, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (35c) 12 

College Town, 3 acts, 2^ 

hi-s (35c) 9 8 

Deacon Dubbs, 3 acts, 2^4 hrs. 

(35c) .^.55 

Deacon Entangled, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(3Sc) 6 4 

Dream of Oueen Esther, 3 acts, 

2'4 hrs (35c) 3 16 

Dream That Came True, 3 

acts. 2J4 hrs (35c) .6.i3 

Early Bird, 3 acts, 2^ hrs. 

(35c) 7 7 

Editor-in-Chief, 1 hr. . . . (25c) 10 
Empty HousCj 3 acts and epi- 
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Evervvouth, 3 acts, 154 h. (25c) 7 6 
Fifty-Fifty, 3 acts, 254 hrs. 

(50c) 5 5 

For the Love of Johnny, 3 

acts, 254 hrs (50c) 6 3 

Fun on the Podunk Limited, 

154 hrs (30c) 9 14 

Fun Revue, 2 hrs. . . . . (35c) Optnl. 
Gettin' Acquainted, 25 min. 

(3Sc) 1 2 

Gold Bug. 4 acts. 254 hrs. . (50c) 7 7 



M. F. 

Her Honor, the Mayor, 3 acts, 

2 hrs. (35c) 3 S 

High Brown Breach of Prom- 
ise, 1 hr (30c) 16 

Indian Days, 1 hr (50c) S 2 

In Hot Tamale Land, 2 acts, 

2 hrs (35c) 6 4 

Jayville Junction, 154 hrs. (30c) 14 17 
Kicked Out of (Tollege, 3 acts, 

254 hrs (35c) 10 9 

Kingdom of Heart's Content, 3 

acts, 254 hrs (35c) 6 12 

Laughing (Zure, 2 acts, 1^ hrs. 

(35c) 4 S 

Lie That Jack Built, 1 act, 30 

min. (35c) 2 2 

Lighthouse Nan, 3 acts, 254 

hrs (35c) 5 4 

Little Clodhopper, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (35c) 3 4 

Mary's Millions, 3 acts, 254 

hrs (50c) 5 6 

Mirandy's Minstrels. ... (30c) Optnl. 
Mrs. Tubbs of Shantytown, 3 

acts, 254 hrs (35c) 4 7 

My Irish Rose, 3 acts, 2^4 hrs. 

(35c) 6 6 

Old Maids, 3 acts, 2 hrs.. . (50c) 5 8 
Old School at Hick'ry Holler, 

154 hrs .• (30c) 12 9 

Poor Married Man, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (35c) 4 4 

Prairie Rose, 4 acts, 2'/^ h.(35c) 7 4 
Reail Thing After All, 3 acts, 

254 hrs (35c) 7 9 

Royal Cut-Up, 2 acts, 2 hrs. 

(35c) 7 3 

Rustic Romeo, 2 acts, 254 

hrs (3Sc)10 12 

Ruth in a Rush, 3 acts, 2 54 

hrs (3Sc) 5 7 

Safety First, 3 acts, 

254 hrs (35c) 5 S 

Southern Cinderella, 3 acts, 2 

hrs :.(35,c) 7 

Spell of the Image, 3 acts, 254 

hrs (3Sc)10 10 

Star Bright, 3 acts, 2% h. (35c) 6 5 
Thread of Destiny, 3 acts, 254 

hrs. (35c) 9 16 

Trial of Hearts, 4 acts, 254 hrs. 

(35c) 6 18 

Tripto Storyiand, 154 hrs.(25c) 17 23 
Under Blue Skies, 4 acts, 2 

hrs (35c) 7 10 

Way Down Along, Prologue 

and 2 acts, 2 hrs (35c) 7 3 

When Smith Stepped Out, 3 

acts, 2 hrs (50c) 4 4 

When the Clock Strikes Twelve, 

3 acts, 254 hrs (35c) 8 20 

Whose Little Bride Are You? 

3 acts. 254 hrs (50c) 5 5 

Winning Widow, 2 acts, 1J4 hrs. 

(25c) 2 4 

Zarne'uetn. 2 acts. 2 hrs. ■ . (35c) 7 4 



T. S. DENISON &COMPANY, Publishers, 623 S. Wabash Ave. .Chicago 



GIMME THEM PAPERS! 

SOME SYNCOPATED SOB STUFF 

BY 

FREDERICK G. JOHNSON 

AUTHOR OF 

The FootUght Revue," "The Fun Revue," "At Harmony Junction,^' 

"Foiled, By Heck!" "Good Morning, Teacher" 

"Such Ignorance!" "Hozv to Stage a 

Minstrel Show," etc. 

"To make me laugh, you must play tragedy, ' ' 




CHICAGO 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 

Publishers 



GIMME THEM PAPERS! 






NOTICE 

Production of this play is 
free to amateurs, but all pro- 
fessional rights are reserved. 



COPYRIGHT, 1922. BY 

FREDERICK G. JOHNSON 

Made in U. S. A. 



-.«r 



GIMME THEM PAPERS! 



CHARACTERS. 

Harry Ham me The Handsome Hero 

Willie Wynne The Wicked Willain 

Cherub Chubb The Cherished Child 

Patricia Punque The Perfect Peach 

Velma Vail The Vicious Vamp 



Scene — Oh, Here and There. 



Time — Decidedly Raggy. 



Place — The Crool, Crool World. 



Time of Playing — About Tiventy Minutes. 

NOTE TO DIRECTOR. 

These directions are for production in a theatre with good 
scenic equipment. The play can be efifectively presented, 
however, on any platform, with no scenery whatever. In 
that case the stage should be set as for "Act Two," with, a 
table, a chair or two, and a rug. The changing of the easel 
signs tells the story. 

Whether or not scenery is used, there should be no waits 
between the "acts." The action is continuous from start to 
finish. 

If printed programs are used, do not indicate the "acts" 
thereon. The easel signs are intended to get a laugh as 
they are shown from time to time, and must therefore not 
be revealed beforehand. 

.3 



4 GIMME THEM PAPERS! 

CHARACTERS AND COSTUMES. 

Harry — A fashion-plate hero ; rather ruddy make-up ; 
eyelashes beaded, cupid's-bow mouth ; wears handsome busi- 
ness suit, of blue serge or other informal material, and neat 
straw hat ; or he may affect the cheap ultra-swell, and wear 
loud checked suit with immense panama hat having a gaudy 
band ; hair pompadoured and sleek always, except for 
"rough-house" scene in "Act Two." 

Willie — An old-time villain ; thin face, pale make-up, 
small black moustache; wears — of course! — evening clothes, 
silk hat, caped overcoat (optional) ; smokes cigarettes in- 
cessantly. 

Cherub — Preferably played by a stout man with a deep 
voice ; long, curly wig and romper costume ; large clumsy 
shoes ; a thorough mixture of clumsy kid and tough guy ; 
or can be played by a thin man in silly rube style of make- 
up and costume ; the more absurd the better ; is always 
gawky and incongruous ; shouts all his lines. 

Patricia — Pretty girl, preferably a blonde ; wears beau- 
tiful clo'thes, but affects "simple country" style ; may wear 
hair in a braid, with large ribbon ; beautiful scarf for driven- 
from-home scene. 

Velma — Pretty girl, preferably a tall, slender brunette, 
with Spanish type of make-up; wears a gorgeous evening 
gown, snaky and clinging, typical vampire style ; affects all 
the sinuous and sinister mannerisms of the type. 



PROPERTIES. 

Harry — Pistol ; long rope. 

Willie — Handful of paper snow; cigarettes; matches; 
pistol ; two money bags, filled. 

Cherub — Cigarette ; matches ; bottle. 

Patricia — Large handkerchief for gag. 

Velma — Clothes tree with lantern. 

Stage Props — Easel and five signs ; hammer on table ; 
toy train and string laid across stage ; crash box and wood 
splintering effect ; train eff'ect ; table, two chairs, rug, hat 
tree, red lantern. 



GIMME THEAI PAPERS! 5 

NOTE TO PLAYERS. 

First of all, learn your lines thoroughly, and be familiar 
with your cues, so that you can pick them up promptly. A 
second's delay in keeping the dialogue going along in its pe- 
culiar meter will put the whole thing out of tempo and 
destroy the raggy rhythm which is the keynote of the piece. 
This does not mean that the lines should be delivered in a 
sing-song style, but that the syncopated motif must be main-, 
tained. 

Deliver your lines colorfully, and enter into the spirit of 
your part. Make the action real, and work for big melo- 
dramatic value. The audience should be left to do all the 
laughing. Forget the absurdity of the play. Take it in all 
seriousness. Rehearse it until it no longer seems funny. 
Have at least one rehearsal with spectators who have not 
read the plav, to learn to guard against laughing when the 
audience does. 

Some of the lines are long, and others are short. These 
are, respectively, "cut-time" and "long-time" lines. The 
first few rehearsals will serve to show how these lines should 
be delivered in order to keep in the tempo. These changes 
in meter and beat contribute largely to the humorous syn- 
copated efifect of the piece. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

Up stage means away from footlights ; down stage, near 
footlights. In the use of rigJit and left, the actor is sup- 
posed to be facing the audience. 



GIMME THEM PAPERS! 



Scene: The full-stage set is a parlor, unth doors center 
and right, or optional. A parlor table center, half-ivay down 
stage. Carpenter's hammer on table. Rug on floors with 
one corner unencumbered. Chairs, etc., ad lib. 

In front of the parlor set, street drop is lozuered "in one" 
(narrow stage). 

Wood drop is hung in or near first groove, so that when 
lowered it will mask parlor set. 

Toy train is set off stage and dozvn left, attached to string 
which lies across stage and dotim as near footlights as pos- 
sible: Free end of string is off right. 

Play opens on apron, in front of stage curtain, before rise. 

Music: "Old Zip Coon," fast and loud, with lots of rag, 
once through. 

As soon as music starts, a Stage Hand places, at extreme 
right, in front of curtain, an easel carrying five cardboard 
signs. The one which is visible announces — 



PROLOGUE 
A LA MODE. 



As music stops, Velma enters in front of curtain. 

Velma. 

When Shakespeare wrote scenarios 

To put upon the stage, 
It seems that crime and sudden death 
Were then, as now, the rage. 
Patricia enters. 
Patricia. 

The persecuted maiden fair 
Was very much an fait, 

6 



GIMME THEM PAPERS! 7 

And her old-fashioned troubles 

Are much the same today. 
•^jLLXE Willie enters. 

The villain still pursues her 

As in the days of yore. 
How is it, then, that those old plays 

Are such a beastly bore? 

Harry. Harry enters. 

If Shakespeare came to earth today 

He'd get the merry razz. 
Because he never wrote a play 
With jazz — jazz — jazz ! 
Patricia (to Willie). 

Well then, let's do a ragtime show. 
Willie (to Velma). 

Gimme Them Papers ! 
Velma (to Harry). 

TT How's that, Bo? 

Harry. 

Good enough to start with — 

All (shouting). 

Let's go ! 

(All do break step.) 
Exeunt Harry and Velma. Willie removes first easel 
sign, revealing second card, which reads : "Act I. Turned 
Out to Die/' and exits. Patricia puts scarf about her 
head, a la little-old-red-shazvl, as front curtain rises, reveal- 
ing street drop "in one." 
Patricia ( tragically ) . 

Father's turned me out to die ! 

Enter Willie, right. 
Wouldn't even tell me why. 

(Willie throzvs pa'per snozv over her.) 
"Begone forever!" he said, and then, 

(Exit Willie, right.) 
"Never darken my door again!" 



8 GIAIME THEM PAPERS! 

Willie enters right. 
Willie (to himself). 

Aha ! A maiden in distress ! 
Patricia (to herself, grieinng). 

Disowned — without an evening dress ! 
Willie (to himself). 

A pretty nifty chicken, too! 

Does she look good? I'll say she do! 

She's on the rocks, that's plain to see. 
Patricia (noticing Willie). 

Now is that creature watching me? 

He'd speak to me if I was willin'. 

I am pursued — and by a villain ! 

He has a wicked looking face ! 
Velma enters right, and zmfches Willie from behind easel. 
Willie (addressing Patricia, freshly). 

I know you, kid. Your name is Grace. 
Patrici a ( frigidly ) . 

I do not do such things as flirt ! 
Velma (aside). 

It's Willie with another skirt. 

He treats me just like I was dirt! 
(Does break step, and exits right.) 
Patricia. 

Father turned me out to die. 
Willie. 

Did he, really? My, my, my! 

(Puts arm around her.) 

Well, then, come along with me. 
Patricia (insulted). 

Never ! Villain, leave me be ! 

Enter Harry, left. 
Patricia. 

Alone, and in this wicked city ! 
Won't nobody have some pity? 



GIMME THEM PAPERS! 9 

•■ Harry. 

Unhand that girl ! Why, gosh durn you, 

That ain't no nice thing to do ! 
Willie (biting his finger nails). 

Foiled already ! Who are you ? 
Harry (docs first part of break step, thus: "Rat, tat-a- 
tat, tat—"). 

Handsome Harry! 
Willie (draning Patricia closer). 

Handsome Harry, do your worst! 

The girl is mine. I saw her first! 
Harry (draztnng a pistol). 

Go, or you'll get filled with lead ! 
Willie (releasing her). 

I'm worth more alive than dead. 
Patricia (to Harry). 

He pestered me beyond endurance ! 

(Harry points gun at Willie.) 

Willie (raising his hands above his head). 

Oh, please don't shoot ! Fve no insurance I 
Harry (threatening him zvith gun). 

Begone, foul fiend in human form! 
Patricia (to Harry). 

Don't you suppose he might reform ? 
Harry. 

I fear he'll go from bad to worse. 
Willie. 

Curses!— How I love. to curse! 
.^T (Exits right.) 

Harry. ^ ^ 

Now tell me how you came to land 

In that there wicked monster's hand. 

A maiden of such grace and charm 

Should ought to be back on the farm. 
Patricia (tearfully). 

Oh, sir, I have not words enough — 
Harry (to orchestra). 

Soft music, please, for this sob stuff. 



10 GIMME THEM PAPERS! 

(Orchestra plays one loud chord, then glides into "Old 
Zip Coon," playing it slowly and very softly. The following 
dialogue is spoken, not sung, in tenvpo with the music. The 
familiar "break" is substituted for the last line of the re- 
frain.) 

Patricia. 

Well, father turned me out of the door, 

And said that I wasn't to come back no more. 

I didn't have a suit-case, I didn't have a trunk. 

He just went and chucked me out — ker-plunk! 
Harry. 

The old man chased you off of the place ? 
Patricia {nodding). 

Said I was responsible for his disgrace. 
Harry {clenching his fist). 

I'd like to slam that bird in the face ! 

{Both do break step.) 
Patricia. 

So here I am, and I haven't got a cent. 
Harry. 

Well, I'm not broke, but I'm badly bent. 
Patricia. 

Then along came the villain, and he started to pursue. 

Now I ask you what on earth there was for little me 
to do! 
Harry. 

Well, you've got me — 
Patricia. 

And you've got a gun! 
• Harry. 

So we'll try very hard to get the villain on the run. 

'Cause the show isn't over — 
Patricia. 

Why, it's just begun ! 

{Both do break step. Music stops.) 
At the break, Willie enters right, and stands behind easel. 



GIMME THEM PAPERS! 11 

Willie (aside). 

Curse him for a rapid lover ! 

Enter Velma, right. 
Velma. 

Look out, kid ! 

(Exits right.) 
Willie (indicating easel). 

I'm under cover ! 
Harry (to Patricia). 

Now come along v^ith me, and we'll see what we can 
do. 
Patricia. 

I can't do that. I don't know you. 
Harry. 

I'm Harry Hamme, the silk hat kid. 
Patricia. 

Gee, but that's a nifty lid! 
Harry. 

Well, I've told you, now you tell me 

Your particular variety of fam'ly tree? 
Patricia ( modestly ) . 

I'm Patricia Punque, the perfect peach. 
Harry (taking her arm). 

Let's beat it, Patricia, side by each. 

(Harry and Patricia exeunt left, Velma enters right.) 

Willie. 

Curses! I'm foiled! But by and by 

I'll get the damsel, or I'll know why. 
Velma (pleading). 

Listen, Willie, leave her be. 

Look what a mess you made out of me. 
Willie (angrily). 

Cut out those sentimental capers! 

That girl has got the fatal papers ! 
Velma. 

What papers, Willie? 



12 GIMME THEM PAPERS! 

Willie {shrugging his shoulders). 
I don't know. 
But "Gimme Them Papers" is the name o' this show. 
So I've got to chase the papers 
As a proper villain should — 
Velma. 

And I'm going to vamp the hero, 
'Cause the author said I could — 
Willie. 

What? You're going to vamp the hero? 
Velma. 

And I'm going to vamp him good ! 
(Velma does break step, oinitting last two beats.) 
Willie. 

Some vamp! 
Well, the act is nearly over, 
So what do you propose? 
Velma. 

It seems to me that gen'rally 

In melodrama shows, 
The villain steals the hero-ine 
And threatens her with blows — 
(Willie does break step, omitting last two beats.) 
Velma. 

Some villain ! 
Willie (pointing off left). 

Now Harry took Patricia into 
Yonder swell cafe. 



Velma. 
Willie. 



Let's give the hero knockout-drops 
So he won't get so gay ! 



And then we'll grab the hero-ine 
And take her far away ! 
(Both do break step, omdtting last two beats.) 
Both. 
Act two! 



GIMME THEM PAPERS! 13 

(Exit Willie right. Velma changes easel sign to read 
"Act II. In the Spider's Web/' and exits after him. Street 
drop rises, showing parlor set, full stage.) 
Enter Willie, center, dragging after him Patricia, who is 

gagged. 
Willie (removing gag). 

And now, me haughty beauty, 
I've got you in me clutch ! 

Enter Velma, right. 
Patricia (bewildered). 

I do not know what place I'm in, 
Except that I'm in Dutch! 
Velma. 

Will you give up the papers? 
Willie (eagerly). 

Or would you rather die? 
Patricia. 

I haven't any papers, 
You know as well as I. 
Willie. 

Well, that don't cut no ice with me, 
The papers I must get ! 
Patricia. 

My beau will have your life for this! 
Willie. 

Ha-ha! Then that's a threat? 
Velma (to Patricia). 

Kick in with the papers, or you'll wish you had ! 
Patricia. 

Rave on, wicked vampire, you can't make me mad ! 
Willie (hissing into her ear). 

Now gimme them papers, or I will reveal 
Your terrible secret I Then how will you feel ? 
Patricia. 

I've no guilty secret to gnaw at my heart. 
Why argue the matter? I think I'll depart, 

(Starts for center door.) 



14 GIMME THEM PAPERS! 

Willie (leaps in front of her). 

Not so fast, me proud beauty ■ Do you think I'm 
silly? 
Patricia. 

She can't pull that rough stuff on us, can she, Willie? 
Willie (to Velma). 

We're losing ground ! 
Velma. 

To bring our game up, 

I think we'll have to fix a frame-up. 
Willie. 

What shall her guilty secret be? 
Velma. 

I'll think a minute. Let me see — 
Patricia. 

I never did a single thing 

That to my cheek a blush M^ould bring. 

You think that you can get me riled — 
Velma (inspired). 

I have it! Quick! Bring on the child! 
Willie. 

Ha-ha I 'Tis well ! Why didn't I 

Think of the child before? (Exits right.) 

Velma. 

We'll thrust the child upon her, and 
We'll throw 'em out the door ! 
Patricia. 

You'll throw me out the door? 
Velma. 

We'll throw you out the door! 
Patricia (laughing heartily). 

You make me think of father. 
He did it once before. 

„, Enter Willie, right. 

Willie. ^ 

Gone! 

Velma. 

Gone? 



Willie. 
Velma. 

Willie. 



GIMME THEM PAPERS! 15 

Gone! 
That's queer! 



And so is half a gallon of 
Our very precious beer I 
(Velma and Willie exeunt hastily, right.) 

Enter Cherub, clutching a beer bottle, center. 

Cherub. Hail!— Hail! 

The gang's all here ! 
{Does break step, omitting last tzvo beats.) 
Some baby ! 
Patricia. 

Come here, you darling infant. 
Whose little child are you ? 
Cherub. 

Well now you've said a mouthful. 
I only wish I knew! 
Patricia. 

I wish that I did, too. 
But mercy, how you grew ! 
Cherub. 

I guess I'm kind of oversized (lifts bottle), 
They raised me on home brew. 
Patricia. 

But tell me what you're doing here, 
For I would like to know. 
Cherub. 

I guess that you had better ask 
The guy that wrote the show. 
Patricia. 

The guy that wrote the show? 
Cherub. 

You surely ought to know. 
It takes the papers and the child 
To make the drama go. 



16 GIMME THEM PAPERS! 

Patricia. 

It's going kind of slow. 
Cherub. 

Cheer up ! Your cup of woe 
Will soon be overflowing. 
Believe me, kid — I know ! 
Enter Willie, right, with a money bag in each hand. 
Willie (to Patricia, extending one bag). 
I have a million dollars here. 
It's all for you — for you, my dear ! 

(Extends other bag.) 
And here are rubies ! Diamonds ! Pearls ! 
The junk that makes a hit with girls ! 
I'll doll you up like -any queen 
If you'll be mine — 
Patricia ( majestically ) . 

Nay, nay, Pauline ! 
A man like you I'll never marry. 
I've pledged my heart to Handsome Harry ! 
Willie (furiously). 

So, you would scorn my untold wealth ? 
Cherub (to Patricia). 

He'll get you yet, by crafty stealth ! 
Willie (making a lunge at Cherub). 

You, beat it, while you've got your health ! 
(Cherub scampers off right, clumping with his heavy 
shoes to execute the preliminary "rat, tat-a^tat, tat — " of the 
break, and disappearing just in time for a final " slam^bang !" 
with crash box off stage.) 
Willie (imperiously). 

Now, haughty one, you're in me power! 
You'll be me bride within the hour! 
Patricia (scornfully). 

I'll never fall for that cheap stuff! 
Willie. 

Woman, look out ! I'll treat you rough ! 
Down on your knees, and show your terror ! 



GIMME THEM PAPERS! 17 

Patricia. 

Fool ! You've made a social error. 

Remove your hat when under cover! 
Willie. 

Never! I'm a caveman lover! 

Gimme them papers ! — 
Patricia. 

No, not I! 

Enter Velma. right. 
Willie. 

Then you had best prepare to die ! 

I'll hurl you into yonder river! 
Patricia ( indifferently). 

I'll get all wet, but I should shiver. 
Velma. 

She's some tough nut, I'll tell the world. 
Willie. 

Curses ! I'm foiled, by a slip of a girl ! 

{Loud knock on center door, in break time.) 

Patricia. 

Hark! What's that? 
Velma. 

They've come to pinch the flat ! 
Willie. 

The cops will never get me, 

Though I'm cornered like a rat! 
Patricia. 

My strength is nearly spent. 
Where has my lover went? 
Velma. 

Perhaps it's just the landlord 
Who's come to get the rent. 

Loud knocks on center door in march time, thus: "Bang! 
Bang! Bang-hang-hang !" Cherub enters right, doing first 
part of break step, thus: "Tap, tap-a-tap, tap — " with two 
'more knocks on center door for final "Bang! Bang!" 



18 GIMME THEM PAPERS! 

Willie (to Velma). 

I have no cash, have you? 
Velma. 

I haven't got a sou ! 
Willie. 

Oh, dear — 
Patricia. 

Dear — 
Cherub. 

Dear ! 
All. 

What are we going to do? 

(Knocking is repeated on door, in break time, "Rat, tat-a- 
tat, tat, — tat, tat.") 
Patricia. 

Who is it? 
Willie. 

I don't know^. 
Velma. 

I wish that they would go. 
Cherub. 

I guess they're knocking just because 
We've got a rotten show ! 

(Terrific noise off stage with crash box, rattle, thunder 
sheet, zvood splintering ^ etc. Music, grand chord.) 

Enter Harry, center, nnth coat gone; badly disheveled, 
hair rumpled, shirt torn, face and arms streaked with 
blood. 
Willie. 

It's Harry, for a fact ! 
Patricia. 

You're late. What kept you back ? 
Harry. 

I'm not supposed to enter till 

The finish of the act. 
This is no place for you. 



GIMME THEM PAPERS! 19 

Patricia. 

Well, what was I to do? 
Velma (lifting corner of rug). 

Open up the trap door 

And we will drop them through ! 
Willie. 

That wouldn't do at all. 
They'd get a nawsty fall. 
Cherub. 

I wonder if we're good enough 
To get a curtain call. 
Harry (to Patricia). 

What are you doing here ? 
Patricia. 

Search me. Oh, dear, oh, dear! 

We're trapped within the spider's web! 
Harry. 

That much is very clear! 

But how can we get out? 
Willie. 

Don't dare to raise a shout ! 
Harry. 

We might go down the fire escape — 
Patricia. 

Or climb the water spout ! 
Willie (to Velma). 

That hero is a shine! 
Velma. 

I have a scheme ! 
Willie. 

That's fine ! 
Velma (pushing Cherub toward Patricia). 

Go, take 3'our child — 
Harry (aghast, to Patricia). 

Is that your child? 
Patricia. 

He is no child of mine ! 



20 GIMME THEM PAPERS! 

Harrv. 

So I have been deceived! 
Willie. 

And I am much reheved. 
Harrv {to Patricia). 

That you would own a brat Hke that 

I wouldn't have believed ! 
Patricia {pleading). 

Now, Harry, listen here. 

They're shoving me the c^ueer. 
•Willie. 

Ha-ha ! The plot is thickening ! 
Cherub {calling off). 

Hey, Eddie, make mine beer ! 
Harry. 

Women are all alike. 
Patricia. 

Well, for the love of Mike ! 
Harry {pushing her azvay). 

Go, take your brat, and get your hat — 
Cherub {to Patricia). 

We've got to hit the pike. 
Patricia {going). 

My heart is just like lead ! 

{Exeunt Patricia and Cherub, hand in hand, center.) 

Harry (calling after her). 

My love for you is dead ! 
Velma {to Willie). 

Perhaps he has the papers ! 
Willie {picking up hammer). 

I'll soak him on the head ! 

(Raps on table, "Rap, tap-a-tap, tap— Tap! Tap!") 

Velma. 

I've got a better scheme. 
Harry {sighing despondently). 

Farewell, O love's young dream. 



GIMME THEM PAPERS! 21 

Velma {to Willie). 

The silly calf sure makes me laugh — 
Willie, 

Yes, isn't he a scream ! 
Velma {whispers in Willie's ear). 

We'll tie him on his back. 

Right on the railroad track. 
Harry. 

Hot stuff. Let's change the scenery 

And do another act! 

{Wood drop ''in one" is loivexed. Willie changes easel 
sign to read: "Act HI. The Jaws of Death.'' Exit 
Willie, right. Velma brings on from left a clothes tree on 
xifhich hangs a red iantern. She places it left of center. 
Exit Velma, right.) 

Enter Patricia and Cherub, hand in hand, right. 

Patricia. 

The villain still pursues me, 

The papers for to get. 
I haven't any papers— 
Cherub. 

Oh well, then, you should fret ! 
Patricia. 

Those papers drive me nutty ! 
Let's rest beneath the shade. 
Cherub {taking cigarette from his pocket). 
Oh never mind the papers, — 

I smoke 'em ready made. {Lights cigarette.) 
Patricia. 

Alas ! Alas ! I wish that I 
Had jumped into the lake ! 
Cherub. 

Get off the railroad tracks, old dear. 
Or you'll be hamburg steak. 
Patricia {agitated, points off right). 

Look, Cherub, look ! What do you see 
Approaching up the road? 



22 GIMME THEM PAPERS! 

Cherub. 

It's Wicked Willie, soused again. 
Oh, Baby ! What a load ! 
Patricia. 

If he goes on pursuing me 
He'll run me off my feet. 
Cherub. 

Come on, we'd better fade away, 
And fade away toot-sweet. 

(Exeimt Cherub and Patricia, hand in hand, left 

Enter Willie and Velma, right. 
Willie (looking off left). 

Curses ! I'm foiled ! That woman knows 

That I pursue where'er she goes ! 
Velma. 

Well, stop pursuing for a minute. 

We've work to do. so let's begin it. 
Willie. 

I never tire of pursuin'. 

Why, girl, I Iwe on wreck and ruin! 
Velma. 

Come on ! It's dangerous to tarry ! 
Willie. 

All right. 
Velma. 

Good night ! 

Where's Handsome Harry? 
Willie. 

You mean that he is lost? 
Velma. 

Then we've been double crossed ! 
Willie. 

We've got to find the hero, 

Or the show will be a frost ! 

You gave the boy the dope? 
Velma (nodding). 

And tied him with a rope ! 



GIMME THEM PAPERS! 23 

Willie (looking around). 

Then he is surely near at hand, 

We mustn't give up hope. 
Velma. 

We'd better have a look. 

Enter Harry, right, with yards of rope coiled around him. 

Harry. 

Where is the girl, you crook ? 
Willie. 

You'll find her lifeless body 
Floating yonder in the brook! 
Harry. 

You wretch ! You know you lie ! 

She is too good to die ! 
It's just a half an hour ago 
I saw her walking by. 
Willie {seizing him). 

Ha-ha ! Your hour has come ! 
Harry (struggling). 

And you've been drinking rum ! 
Velma (catching Harry's hands hack of him). 
Come on, let's do the dirty work 
And put him on the bum ! 

(They struggle from center to one side and hack, szvay- 
ing cabaret style and keeping time to "struggle music" 
played in rag tempo. Music finishes zmth hreak, and Harry 
falls at center, with head left hy clothes tree, and feet to- 
ward right. He times his fall to coincide with the final 
"Thump! Thump!" of the break. Willie and Velma tie 
him to imaginary track. Tremolo music, very soft.) 

(If light effects are available, darken stage at this point, 
and use green spot 'light on the group. JVhen Harry says 
"Good night!" restore all lights and kill the spot.) 

Willie (leaning over and gloating). 
Prepare to die ! 



24 GIMME THEM PAPERS! 

Harry {ztnth hrai'ado). 

,,, You make me snicker! 

Willie. 

Don't taunt me when I'm full of licker ! {Turn 
aivay. ) 
Velma {kneeling beside Harry). 

Honest, I hate to see you there. 
Harry {rises on one elhoiv and recites tragically) . 

A fool there was, and he made a prayer 

To a ragtime vamp — 
Velma {enthusiastically) . 

Gee, kid, you're there! 
Harry. 

The ragtime vamp made the fool forget 

That the simple country maiden was his one best 1. 

She lured him on, in her ragtime way — 
Velma. 

Gimme them papers and I'll let you get away ! 
Harry. 

Never, wicked vampire! 

But I'll give you something worse! 

Before I die I'll give to you 
A rag — time — curse ! 

{Music stops.) 
Willie. 

What's that I hear? A curse? 
Velma. 

In syncopated verse ! 
Willie (peevishly). 

He hadn't ought to do it, 

It's the villain's job to curse. 
Velma. 

The train is nearly due. 
Harry. 

I'm catching cold — ker-choo ! 
Willie. 

Oh, never mind, you're going where 

You'll never catch the flu. 



GIMME THEM PAPERS! 25 

Velma. 

He's tied up good and tight. 
Willie. 

We'd better take to flight. 

(Exeunt Willie and Velma, stealthily, right.) 

{Locomotive effect ^or first part of break, thus: "Chug, 
chug-a-chug, chug — ") 
Harry. 

Good night ! 

(Music agitato, and train effect, both beginning very soft 
and working up very loud.) 

Enter Patricia and Cherub, hand in hand, left. 

Cherub. 

It's Harry, for a fact! 
Patricia. 

They've tied him to the track ! 

I'm going to save my lovin' man 

Or else I'll break my back ! 

(She kneels by him and pulls at ropes.) 

I've got to save his life! • 

Cherub (slapping his trousers pockets). 

I haven't any knife! 
Patricia (desperately). 

Well I have got to hurry. 

Or I'll never be his wife! 
Cherub (pointing). 

Oh, see the pretty lamp ! 
Patricia (embracing him). 

Your darling little scamp ! 

We'll throw the switch and save him from 

The vengeance of the vamp I 

(Music and train effect are now very loud. Patricia 
and Cherub are clinging lo pegs of clothes tree, attempting 
to turn it, zuhen toy train is drawn across from left to right. 
They turn tree, as though by great effort, just before train 



26 GIMME THEM PAPERS! 

reaches tree, and it continues past Harry and off stage. 
Quick fade-out of train effect. Music stops.) 

Cherub. 

You're looking kind of peak-ed. 
Patricia. 

Oh, dear! I'm out of breath! 
Harry {getting up). 

And many thanks. You saved me from 

The very jaws of death. 
Patricia. 

Oh, did they hurt your back? 
Harry. 

I thought my bones would crack. 
Cherub {going to easel). 

Well, hurry up and beat it, 'cause 

We've got another act. 

(Cherub changes sign to read, "Act IV. Virtue Tri- 
umphant.'" Exeunt x^ll, right, Harry taking clothes tree 
off. Drop rises to parlor set.) 

Enter Willie and Velma, center.- 
, Willie. 

We didn't get the papers. 
Velma. 

The child is missing, too. 
Of all the villains I have met 
The very worst is you! 

Enter Harry, Patricia and Cherub, center. 

Harry. 

And now to see the villain 

And defy him in his den I 
Patricia. 

We've brought your little Cherub back — 
Willie. 

Ah ! Curses I Foiled again ! 
Patricia. 

Are we too late for breakfast? 



GIMME THEM PAPERS! 27 

Harry. 

I hope you've kept it warm! 
Velma. 

There's nothing in a hfe of sin — 

I'm going to reform! 
Willie (taking out revolver). 

The game is up I And now to put 

A bullet through my cheek ! (Points revolver at face.) 
Cherub (grabbing it). 

Hey ! Watch your step I And don't forget — 

(To audience.) 

We play "East Lynne" next week! 

(Harry and Patricia hold hands and look at each other 
languishingly. Willie smokes a cigarette furiously and 
looks baffled. Velma folds her hands and assumes a virtu- 
ous look. Cherub pulls easel back of curtain line.) 

(Music, very loud, first notes of Wedding March, and 
ending with break. All do break step and bow to audience, 
standing in line.) 

Fast Curtain. 



How to Sta^e a Minstrel Show 

BY JEFF BRANEN AND FREDERICK G. JOHNSON 

Price, 25 Cents. 

This essential handboolc, based on twenty years' experience, 
is to every amateur minstrel director what blue-prints and specifi- 
cations are to a builder. It gives to the inexperienced producer 
an intimate worlcing knowledge of his problem, and shows him how 
to work out original ideas as well as to use ready-made material. 
It covers thoroughly the subjects of female minstrels and novelty 
minstrels as well as the regulation "circle" formation. And it con- 
tains a generous chapter of crisp, fresh crossfire. 

CONTENTS. 

Chapter I. — Styles in Minstrel Shows. 

Evolution of Minstrel Sliows — Men or Women, or Both — Black 
or White — Circle or Novelty. 

Chapter II. — Organizing the Troupe. 

Assembling the Talent — Organizing the Circle — Talent for 
the Olio. 

Chapter III. — Putting the Show Together. 

Building the Framework — Opening and Closing — Tambourines 
and Bones — Selecting the Songs — Arranging the Eng Gags — 
A Skeleton Program — Staging the Opening Chorus — Putting 
the Gags Across — Stunts for the Olio. 

Chapter IV. — Conducting Rehearsals. 

Calling Rehearsals — Punctuality E^ssential — Save Time with 
Group Rehearsals — Rehearsing the Ends — Rehearsing the Mu- 
sic — Measuring the Show — The Dress Rehearsal — Make It 
Snappy. 

Chapter V. — The First-Part. 

Regulation Settings — "Pyramid" Settings — Novelty Settings — 
A Cabaret First-Part — Military First-Part — For Female Min- 
strels — College First-Part — Oldtime First-Part — Other Novelty 
Settings — General Suggestions. 

Chapter VI.— The Olio. 

Vaudeville De Luxe — Opening the Olio — Arranging the Olio — 
When Talent is Scarce. 

Chapter VII. — The Afterpiece. 

Make 'Em Laugh— Right Length for Afterpiece— Rehearse It 
Thoroughly. 

Chapter '\/lll. — Stage, Scenery and Music. 

Make Your Show Fit the Stage— Scenic Equipment — Harmony 
in Color — Renting Scenery — Selecting Settings — Minstrel Music 
— Music Rehearsals — Using an Orchestra. 

Chapter IX. — Make-Up and Costumes. 

Using Burnt Cork— White-Face Make-Up — The Costume 
Scheme— Endmen's Costumes. 

Chapter X. — Advertising. 

&et Plentv of Publicitv— Duty of the Press Agent— Advertising 
Expense— Ordering the Printing— Buying Ad Space. 

Chapter XI.— The Big Night. 

Staff Duties— Start Promptly— The Last Word. 

Chapter XII. — Original Minstrel Gags 

Appendix. — Bibliography of Minstrel Material. 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

623 South Wabash Avenue, CHICAGO 



Fun in a Chinese* Laundry 

By SHELDON PARMER 

Price, 25 Cents 

Farce in 2 acts; 6 males, 12 females. Time, 1 hour or longer 
with specialties. Scene: An easily constructed interior. Cos- 
tumes, modern. Cholly Choppin steals Miss Sourapple's little dog 
Sallie, and Sallie Clark, a poor little rich girl, becomes lost. When 
Ah Sin serves celery soup and calls it "selly"' soup, the old maid 
and the deaf old man think their respective Sallies are in the 
soup. A full evening of clean, active fun, with no sentimental 
scenes. Songs may be introduced. Recommended for school, club 
or church entertainments. 

Tlie Doo-Funny Family 

By MARY MODENA BURNS 

Price, 25 Cents 

A novelty entertainment for school, club or church; 3 males, 
9 females. Time, 1 hour. Scene: A garden wall, easily arranged. 
The Doo-Funnies enact a drama upon a wall; like Humpty Dumpty, 
some of them get a fall. Full of oddities, comedy effects and 
stunts that will cause the audience much surprise and amusement. 
Characters: The Witch, the Old Maid. Grandmaw, Lengthy Lizzie, 
Tessie Tubbs, Maw Doo-Funny, the Twins and Baby, Paw Doo- 
Funny and the comical sons. Dumpy and Doughnut. May be 
given by adults or by boys and girls. Easy to get up and easy 
to act. Unique and crowded with humor. 

Hi^h Brown Breach of Promise 

By SHELDON PARMER 

Price, 30 Cents 

A black and tan absurdity; 16 or 22 males. Time, 1 hour. 
Scene: Court room. Highly ludicrous negro mock trial, introduc- 
ing specialties. Can be produced anywhere, no scenery or curtains 
necessary. Originally written for church production, but will prove 
very funny in the liands of any organization of men or boys. 
Quickly learned, all parts short and .snappy, and requires only a 
few rehearsals. 

The School of Detecting 

By FREDERICK G. JOHNSON 

Price, 25 Cents 

Rapid-fire vaudeville sketch; 2 males. Time, 15 minutes. A 
slick confidence man gives the glad hand to a guileless farmer lad 
fresh from Cowslip Corners. "I'm $10 shy." "We're always a little 
shy when we first come in from the country." Crowded with 
unexpected comebacks, and a surprise punch at the finish. Fine 
skit for clever rube comedian and fast partner. 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

623 S. Wabash Ave,, CHICAGO 



The Fun Revue 

By FREDERICK G. JOHNSON 
Price, 35 Cents 

A musical grouch cure in five treatments. Flexibly planned to 
use cast and chorus of 30 to 100 men and girls. Has many short 
parts, giving chances for numerous individual hits, and no star 
parts, except as performers malve them so. Not a serious moment 
in it. In "Oli Baby!" the first part, tlie funmaliers appear as 
playground kiddies. A circus comes to town. Sideshow stunts 
follow the ballyhoo. "Pity the Sailors on a Night L,\k.e This!" is 
a great sidewalk skit. "Rhytlim a la Mode" gives opportunity for 
dancing and musical specialties according to local talent at hand. 
"Some Sheet Music Covers" is a flashy song-and-style revue. 
"The Bootlegger's Bride," a screaming fatal-wedding travesty, 
sends everybody home happy. The average theatre has the nec- 
essary stocli scenery — wood and palace sets, street drop, etc. 
Book contains detailed instructions for staging, and suggestions on 
choosing musical numbers. No songs are included, choice being 
left to producers themselves. Tliere's not a bit of sense to tliis. 
It's just plain nonsense, liit or miss. It has no logic, has no plot. 
But just one thing it sure has got. It's full of scintillating chaff. 
It has the stuff that makes 'em laugh. It pol\es good-natured fun 
at things. It has a place for each who sings, or plays, or does a 
novel dance. It gives all clever folk a clianee. Witli peppy music 
running through, you'll make a liit witli this revue I 

" 'The Fun Revue' proved to be an ideal vehicle for the presenta- 
tion of brilliant amateur stage talent in a diversified and highly 
effective way." — Wilkes-Barre Record. 

In Hot Tamale Land 

By GEOFFREY F. MORGAN 
Price, 35 Cents 

Musical comedy m 2 acts; 10 principals (6 males, 4 females) 
and a chorus of any size. Ideal for college and high school pro- 
duction, having no elaborate stage requirements, tliough scenery 
and costumes may be as lavish as desired, and it can be made a 
tliorouglily pretentious offering. The scene is laid in an imaginary 
country in the tropics, where raising pickles is tlie nation's busi- 
ness and attending bullfiglits is tlie nation's pastime. Bobby must 
earn $10,000 before Eleanor's father will consent to her marrying 
him. The bullfigliters' union calls a strike, and Bobby volunteers 
as a strike brealcer. His friends' efforts to bolster his waning 
courage, the walking delegate's threats of vengeance, Bobby's 
study of the science from a bullfighting manual — tliese are just a 
few of the ridiculous complications wliich combine to make "In 
Hot Tamale Land" two hours of solid laughter. No music is in- 
cluded with the book, but there is provision for introducing solos, 
ensemble numbers, dances and drills to be chosen by the director. 
Has been produced witli great success. Requires but one stage 
setting. Contains detailed directions for staging. 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

623 S. Wabash Ave., CHICAGO 



Who's Crazy Now? 

By HARVEY R. DENTON 

Price, 25 Cents 

A delirious episode; 3 males, 2 females. Time, 25 minutes; 
longer with specialties. Scene: An interior. Fatal to glooms and 
dangerous to loose buttons. An oily crook, insinuating himself into 
the abode of a maiden lady who is expecting a fiance by the matri- 
monial advertisement route, wrecks the dignity oT the place and 
causes everyone to appear looney. The characters, all equally 
humorous, feed each other lavishly with clever lines and create a 
mountain of complications which breaks in a veritable earthquake 
of mirth. Speed, about 200 miles an hour. Snowdrop, the dancing 
pickaninny, is a splendid opportunity for a young character woman. 

An Irish Stew 

By JEFF BRANEN 

Price, 25 Cents 

A farce; 6 males, 4 females. Time, 1 hour. Hogan knew of 
no other way to collect an ancient debt from tight-fisted Tim 
Toolin, so he decided to die to get it. The report of his death 
stirred things up considerably. Rich in delicious Irish comedy, 
and teaches a lesson in Americanization as well as telling a funny 
story. Includes also splendid character parts for French barber, 
German maiden, college boy, negro undertaker, etc. With real 
Hibernian wit the basis of the funmaking, this sketch is sure to 
afford a solid hour of uproarious laughter. 

A Paper Wedding 

By CHARLES NEVERS HOLMES 

Price, 25 Cents 

A comedy; 1 male. 5 females. Time, 30 minutes. Scene: An 
interior. The lesson lurking back of this breezy family disturbance 
is: Remember your first wedding anniversary. The fact of your 
being married on the 29th of February is not a sufficient excuse 
for being late. It is also quite immaterial whether the first anni- 
versary is named "Paper"' or "Cotton." A soothing mother-in-law 
and a goodly group of her sympathizing friends add humor to this 
almost tragic situation. 

Getting Rid of Father 

By ARTHUR EDWARD WHITMAN 

Price, 25 Cents 

A comedy; 3 males, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. Scene: 
Simple interior. Father, right from the farm, drops in, unan- 
nounced, on the eve of a fashionable reception. His crude ways 
severely Jar his daughter's nerves but his ready purse, in time 
of need, establishes a welcome. Will delight any audience. 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

623 S. Wabash Ave., CHICAGO 



New Blackface Series 

For Minstrels and Vaudeville 
Price, 25 Cents Each, Postpaid 

THE AFRICAN GOLF CLU B.— Blackface farce, by Jeff Branen; 
10 males, 1 female. Time, 25 minutes. The rattle of the cubes, 
the burning- of a neighboring chicken coop and the tragic loss of 
the contraband "likker" combine to shatter the nerves of the dom- 
ino gallopers. But they do' gallant rescue work. An ideal afterpiece. 

ALMOST AN ACTOR.— Coontown crossfire, by Wade Stratton; 

2 males. Time, 20 minutes. A seedy manager tries to initiate a 
station porter into the thespian art, but they find there is little 
in.spiration when hunger gnaws. This skit crackles with fresh gags 
and comedy business. Both parts are rich. 

THE BATTLE OF ROARING-BU LL.— A black and copper-colored 
massacre, by Jeff Branen; 11 or more males. Time, 30 minutes. 
Two wandering darkies fall into the clutches of a terrible red- 
skin tribe, with hair-raising results. Can be effectively elaborated 
with war-dance, etc., introducing entire minstrel troupe as an 
afterpiece. 

THE BLACK VAMP.— By Arthur Leroy Kaser; 2 males, 2 fe- 
males. Time, 15 minutes. Sam thought his wife didn't appreciate 
him, so he got his good friend Pliil to impersonate a dusky vam- 
pire, to liven things up. He livened things up, all right. Chance 
for song and dance specialties. The female parts can be "doubled." 

CASH MONEY. — A minstrel spree for three, by Wade Stratton; 

3 males. Time, 20 minutes. Two travelers are forced to sliare a 
room in a fust-class cullud boa'din' house, with almost fatal re- 
sults. The handsome waiter is a factor in the mixup. Fine chance 
for comedian who plays banjo, ukulele or guitar. 

THE COON AT THE DOOR.— A black-and-white skit, bv Jeff 
Branen; 3 males. Time, 20 minutes. The doctor's office boy fears 
tlie man at the door is his hated rival, and his efforts to evade a 
meeting are side-splitting. The white doctor blackens up and 
doubles as the mysterious coon. Specialties are to be introduced. 

A DARK SECRET.— Colored farce of mystery, by Jeff Branen; 

4 males, 1 female. Time, 30 minutes. This screaming story of 
the adventure of a negro detective and his dusky assistant has 
made thousands roar when presented on the professional stage, 
and is now available in print for tlie first time. 

FU'ST AID TO CUPID.— Minstrel absurdity, by Wade Stratton; 
3 males, 2 females. Time, 20 minutes. Willie, a wandering waga- 
bond without wim, wigor, witality or wittles, who poses as a "mis- 
ery specialist" to aid tlie course of true love, will bring down the 
bouse. A welcome modern adaptation of the sham doctor theme. 

HITTING THE AFRICAN HARP.— Blackface skit for a banjo 
duo, by 'Wade Stratton; 2 males. Time, 15 minutes, or according 
to specialties. Written as a vehicle for a banjo playing team to 
introduce specialties, and rich in comedy lines and business. "Very 
popular with college banjo clubs, etc., as a novelty stunt. 

KISS ME, CAMILLE!— Blackface novelty, by Wade Stratton; 
2 males, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. Horatio, the dramatic 
teacher, finds Lucinda a promising pupil, and they rehearse love 
scenes with enthusiasm. But Luke McFluke, his other pupil, 
doesn't take kindly to the course of training, and the instructor is 
sadly out of luck. The blackface travesty on "Camille" is a scream. 

THE MYSTERIOUS SUITCASE.— By Arthur Leroy Kaser; 2 
males. Time, 15 minutes. Sam has to carry Harry's grip, and 
both negroes have a laughable time trying to keep the mystery 
from leaking out. The fact that they stop to rest near a cemetery 
also gives Sam cause for serious thinking. 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY. 623 S.Wabash Ave.. Chicago 



DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Partial List off Successful and Popular Play. Large Catalosue Free 



FARCES, COMEDIETAS. Etc. 
Price 25 Cents Each 

M. F. 

All on a Summer's Day, 40 min. 4 6 
Aunt Harriet's Night Out, 35 

min 1 2 

Aunt Matilda's Birthday Party, 

35 min 11 

Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 
Case Against Casey, 40 min... 23 

Doo-Funny Family, 1 hr 3 9 

Fun in Photo Gallery, 30 min.. 6 10 

Getting Rid of Father, 20 min. 3 1 

Goose Creek Line, 1 hr. ...... 310 

G?eat Pumpkin Case, 35 min.. 12 

Hans Von Smash, 30 min.... 4 3 

Honest Peggy, 25 min 8 

Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min — 3 3 

Irish Stew, 1 hr 6 4 

Just Like a Woman, 35 min... 3 3 

Me and Betty, 30 min 2 5 

Men Not Wanted, 30 min 8 

Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 ' 9 
Mrs. Hoops-Hooper and the 

Hindu, 35 min 12 

Mrs. Jenkins' Brilliant Idea, 35m. 8 

Mrs. Stubbins' Book Agent, 30 m. 3 2 

Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 5 

Paper Wedding, 30 min 1 5 

Pat's Matrimonial Venture, 25 

min 4 . . . . 1 2 

Rummage Sale, SO min 4 10 

Sewing for the Heathen, 40 

min 9 

Shadows, 35 min 3 4 

Sing a Song of Seniors, 30 min. 7 

Taking Father's Place, 30 min. 5 3 
Teacher Kin I Go Home, 35 

min 7 3 

Too Much of a Good Thing, 45 

min 3 6 

Two Ghosts in White, 20 min.. 8 

Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 3 

Uncle Dick's Mistake, 20 min.. 3 2 
Watch, a Wallet, and a Jack of 

Spades. 40 min 3 6 

Whole Truth. 40 min S 4 

Who's Crazv Now? 25 min.... 3 2 

Who's the iSoss? 30 min 3 6 

Wrong Baby, 25 min. ^ 8 

FARCES. COMEDIETAS. Etc. 
Price 15 Cents Each 

April Fools, 30 min 3 

Assessor, The, 15 min 3 2 

Before the Play Begins, IS 

min 2 1 

Billy's Mishaps, 20 min 2 3 

Country Justice, 15 min 8 

Family Strike, 20 min ....... 3 3 

For Love and Honor, 20 min.. 2 1 

Fudge and a Burglar, 15 min.. S 

Great Medical Dispensary, 30 m. 6 

Initiating a Granger, 25 min.. 8 

Kansas Immigrants, 20 min... 5 1 

Pair of Lunatics, 20 min 1 1 

Pat. the Apothecary, 35 min.. 6 2 



Second Childhood, IS min..., 2 2 

Smith's Unlucky Day, 20 min.. 1 1 

That Rascal Pat, 30 min 3 2 

Those Red Envelopes, 25 min.. 4 4 

Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min... 4 
Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. 4 

Wanted: A Hero, 20 min 1 1 

Wide Enough for Two, 45 min. 5 2 

VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES 
Price 25 Cents Each 

Amateur, 15 min 1 1 

At Harmony Junction, 20 min. 4 

Cold Finish, 15 min... 2 1 

Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min.. 2 1 

Hey, Rube! 15 min 1 

I'm a Nut, 10 min 1 

It Might Happen, 20 min 1 1 

Little Miss Enemy, 15 min.... 1 1 

Little Red School House, 20 m. 4 

Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 
One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 

Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 

Pete Yansefi's Curl's Moder, 10m. 1 

Quick Lunch Cabaret, 20 min.. 4 

School of Detecting, 15 min... 2 

Si and I, 15 min 1 

Special Sale, 1 5 min 2 

'Street Faker, 15 min 3 

Such Ignorance, IS min 2 

Sunny Son of Italy, IS min.. 1 

Time Table, 20 min 1 1 

Tramp and the Actress, 20 min. T 1 

Troubles of Rozinski, 15 min.. 1 

Two Jay Detectives, 15 min.. 3 

Umbrella Mender, 15 min.... 2 

Vait a Minute, 20 min 2 

BLACK-FACE PLAYS 
Price 25 Cents Each 

African Golf Club, 25 min 10 1 

Almost an Actor, 20 min 2 

Axin' Her Father, 25 min 2 3 

Battle of Roaring Bull, 30 min.. 11 

Battle of Rollin' Bones, 30 min. 8 

Black Vamp, 1 S min 2 2 

Booster Club of Blackville, 2S 

min 10 

Cash Money, 20 min 3 

Colored Honeymoon^ 25 min... 2 2 

Coon Creek Courtship, 15 m... 1 1 
Coontown Thirteen Club, 25 m.l4 

Dark Secret, 30 min 4 1 

Fu'st Aid to Cupid, 20 min... 3 2 

Good Mornin', Judge, 35 min.. 9 2 
Hitting the African Harp, 

15 min 2 

Hungry, IS min 2 

Kiss Me, Camille, 20 min 2 1 

Mysterious Suitcase, 15 min... 2 

Oh, Doctor! 30 min 6 2 

A great number of 

Standard and Amateur Plays 

not found here are listed In 

Denlson's Catalogue 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers, 623S.Wabash Ave. .Chicago 



1-1022 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 

The Fu lillliliilllllllliHli ^' 

« T. ^ T A fl ° 015 938 673 9 • 

By Frederick G. Johnson. A flexiDie musicai snow «/t ^c^„^ »..,^ ^aorus of 

30 to 100 men and girls. Has many short parts, giving cliances for numerous 
individual hits, and no star parts, except' as perfofmers make them so. Not a 
serious moment in it. Opportunity for dancing and musical specialties' according 
to local talent at hand. Goes with a_ rush, and sends everybody home happy. 
Contains detailed' instructions for staging, and suggestions on choosing musical' 
numbers. Tremendously popular. Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 35 Cents/ 

In Hot Tamale Land 

By Geoffrey F. Morgan. Musical comedy in 2 acts; 10 principals (6 male, 
4 female) and a chorus of any size._ Ideal for college and high school produc- 
tion, having no elaborate stage requirements, though scenery and costumes may 
be as lavish as desired, and it can be made a thoroughly pretentious offering. 
Has been produced with great success. Requires but one stage setting. Contains 
detailed directions for staging. Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 35 Cents. 

A Royal Cut-Up 

By Geoffkey F. Morgan. Musical comedy in 2 acts; 10 principals (7 male, 
3 female) and a chorus of any size. Colleges and high schools wishing to stage 
"a regular musical show" will find "A Royal Cut-Up" exactly suited to their 
needs. Effective, yet easy to stage. Brisk and breezy lines, rich in snappy 
'comedy of dialog^ue and situation, and allowing for plenty of local quips. . 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 3S Cents. 
" ' J 

When Cork Is King 

By Wade Stratton, A rich store of bright, snappy material for building 
up a minstrel show and affording lively chatter for first-part and olio. Con- 
venieritly arranged with subdivisions under which are assorted .first-part crossfire, 
end gags and comebacks; end jokes for female minstrels; mipstrel miscellany in- 
cluding verses, conundrums and short bits of catchy humor; seven dandy mono- 
logues; three fast blackface skits. Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 35 Cents. 

How to Stage A Minstrel Show 

By Jeff Branen and Frederick G. Johnson. This book is to every amateur 
minstrel director what blue-prints are to a builder. Explains modern styles of 
minstrels and novelty minstrels; how to put the show together; bow to organize 
the troupe and conduct rehearsals; where to get material; the opening chorus; 
it discusses first-part, olio, afterpiece, costumes, make-up, scenery, music^ pub- 
licity, program arrangement, etc. Eight full-page illustrations showing various 
first-part settings. . Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 35 Cents. 

Some Vaudeville Monologues 

By Harry L. Newton. Thirteen for men and five for women. Contents: 
"People I Have Met," "Well, I Swan!" "Her Busted Romances," "Music a la 
Carte," "Abie Cohen's Wedding Day," "Sorrows of Sadie." "Tipperary Tips," 
"Kissing as an Art," "Panhandle Pete," "Tillie Olson's Romance," ".\s Tony 
Tells It," "Suffragette Susie." "A Sad Lover," "Chatter," "My Father Savs." 
"I'm a Tellin' You," "The Precinct Politician," "Yon Yonson, Yanitor." Unique 
illustrations of each character. 

Handsomely bound in cloth. Price, Postpaid, $1.25. 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY. PubUshars. 623 South Wabash Avenua, CHICAGO 



